They are having a volleyball match in the empty lot between the construction site next to me and the house beyond that. For some reason, this means someone is blowing a very high-pitched whistle every few seconds. I have no idea why. I haven’t gone to look at it. Perhaps they feel a whistle needs to be blown every time there is a set, and they are not having a lot of luck with long volleys. I don’t have a clue. I haven’t gone to look at it. But whistles are this huge trigger for me. I think it can only be because of men on the street whistling at us, but I don’t even remember. I just know after 4 hours of this, I am in a state of terror I can’t even really get out of. I seem to be able to type, but it’s like some other part of me is just locked in a freeze state and can’t think at all. Can’t think what might help.

It means there is absolutely no break for me today and I don’t know how I will manage. Yesterday was very stressful given C’s meltdown, and I did not sleep well, and then the whistle started up, and in a couple of hours I will meet C and that will most likely be stressful and everything just feels about to collapse on top of me.

I keep thinking they can’t keep fucking whistling all day. Either it has to stop, or I have to be able to deal with it. It’s impossible for this to go on indefinitely. Well, who knows. It could go on until dark.

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