This little insight—that Yuri killed all of the Afghani girls—reveals an important tidbit of information.

He was a murdered. The girls didn’t just die as a result of over-punishment or because he was making an example out of them to the other girls. He enjoyed killing, just as my father enjoyed causing others pain.

Periodically, his desire to kill overcame his desire to make money, and someone died.

My trafficker wasn’t just a trafficker. He was a serial killer, and the victims came from his stable of girls he was trafficking.

I am thinking I began to realize this when I was five or six years old: the man who had the most power in my life took pleasure in killing and sooner or later he did kill in order to fulfill that desire. I understand why I am in parts. Because how else do you live with that kind of terror?

There is an upside to understanding this particular horror. Yuri was not ordinary evil. He was once-in-a-lifetime evil. I am unlikely to ever meet anyone that evil again.


3 thoughts on “Murderer

  1. Cat's Meow June 7, 2015 / 1:33 pm

    I think that you have ample reason, several times over to be in parts, Ashana. Yuri being a serial killer is just icing on the cake, so to say. I think that what happened in your home alone would have been more than sufficient. What really strikes me is what an incredibly strong person you have been your whole life in order to survive.

    Thank goodness you are extremely unlikely to run into another Yuri! Not just because of the random odds, but also because you have made the life choices that take you out of the likely paths of the Yuri’s of this world. I am in awe of your taking the stand that allowed you to escape his grasp as a young teen. I remember that you were willing to die and am grateful that your father realized that there would be too many questions if you died (or whatever reason kept him from completing your death.)

    I remember your writing once about how you suspect that Yuri is dead, because of the life style that he lived. I hope so.

    • Ashana M June 7, 2015 / 2:37 pm

      I really think he is.

      Thank you.

  2. Ellen June 7, 2015 / 11:40 pm

    Cat said it so well. I hope he is dead also. Your strength at surviving and beyond that, having a decent and good life, is a miracle. Down to you, I mean, not to heaven.

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