It occurs to me this morning that, in the end, Yuri murdered all of the Afghani girls. Not just Laila and Farzana, but all of them. Not at once, but over two or three years. And it was not like Natalya’s death, where it was discussed and I understood something of why it happened. I didn’t know. But for me it felt like a genocide. There was a revolving door of Russian girls—he sold them or gave them as gifts, they died of drug overdoses or wounds, they went with johns and did not come back. He murdered them. But the Afghani girls he murdered. All of them. I didn’t know why, and so it seemed that he killed them because of who they were.

The student I mentioned—I should give her a name, but it’s awkward. I suppose I can call her C. Anyway, there is a part terribly concerned that she be safe, that she be all in one in piece. Naturally, the part is concerned. If Yuri killed all of them, then clearly C is next. It’s really just a matter of time. She resembles them. She must be one of them. Her number must be close to coming up.

I don’t know how many Afghani girls there were, but I do feel certain he killed them.

It is making me come to understand the early years of the trafficking in a slightly different way.

I think I always worked for Yuri. From the time I was three or four, my dad rented me out to Yuri to traffic. That is what I think.

What caught my attention changed over time, but Yuri was a constant. Before Nata, it was the Afghani girls who took me under their wing. The Russian girls were important later only because of Nata and I gravitated towards them because of her. Before she came, I didn’t pay much attention to them. They were there, but I wasn’t interested.

There were other very small girls being trafficked that were all Spanish-speaking and when I was little they were very important to me, because I was also very small and they were my friends. Of course, they were from the Americas. You can’t very easily smuggle unattended 4 and 5-year-old girls out of Russia or South Asia or anywhere else on the other side of the world very easily. If you want very small children to traffic for sex, it’s easier if you are on the same continent. It just makes more business sense. They didn’t necessarily disappear. I just had a different friend. So what changed over time was not mostly the actual business arrangements, but my attention.

When I was small, it did seem that some of the traffickers were Spanish-speaking also. They might have been. There is no reason to think that Yuri Russian business partners, and the little girls thought we were being trafficked by La Eme. Someone probably told them that—their caretaker. But that didn’t mean it was true. Yuri had perhaps a male handler for the little girls with lots of tats and a shaved heads and we all thought he was La Eme. He might have been. He might have been just a small-time criminal with big ambitions. Again, it’s just my attention.