Farzana was murdered. Not in the same deliberate way as Natalya, but murdered nonetheless. Yuri whipped her, and she died of it. Not immediately. A few days later.

There is a third figure in my memory who was also murdered, more horrifically, if that’s possible. And I don’t know what of it I saw. I saw something though. I remember the nightmares about it.

So these three important figures in my life were murdered and it’s hard not to feel guilty I lived.

And then I realize something about it: I had to live. They died, but I have to live with their loss. I have to live with the horror. I didn’t get off scot-free. When someone is murdered, it affects everyone within the circle of people who know and care about them. Murder is unfair to everyone within that circle.

Yuri killed them, but he hurt me.

Advertisements