I couldn’t get up today. I mean, in the end, I did, but I lay in bed for an extra hour. Every time I showed signs of being motivated to move, Ruthie started to cry. She wanted to lie in bed and hug the blanket all day. This is what she said. I suppose I could have forced the issue and let her cry—there is a place for firm limits and crying be damned. But I don’t really have the heart for it.

Luckily, this is the kind of thing I wake up so early to deal with.

I was baffled by it all and then I realized my memories are getting fleshed out and there is now so much more in my conscious mind for me to miss.

Natalya was so much fun. And I just miss her.