So it was Valentine’s Day yesterday. I almost didn’t notice it, but two of my Country Xer friends remembered and said something about it.

No one else did.

Also, I’m too preoccupied to do anything about a certain amount of junk email I still get.

And I have been thinking. Something has been nibbling at my brain.

Gingerbread cookies. Gingerbread cookies have been nibbling at the edge of my mind. Natalya made heart-shaped, gingerbread cookies one year. They had red sprinkles on them.

I remember the precise taste of them, the exact texture. It is like the memory of them has been kept in a box and so it is still fresh.

I wonder sometimes if we knew what our relationship was. Or was it something kept separate and apart from other kinds of knowledge? I wonder more what it was for her, because my whole life was in boxes: my boxes were so big they might have been houses.

Was it for her?

And I think it wasn’t.

Advertisements