It’s a small piece.
I said I felt like a failure because I could not save Natalya in the end. But I never really could save her from things.
It’s true, when I had to hurt her, I was careful, I was as gentle as I could be, but mostly I was calm, I was tender, I was caring. Mostly, I loved her.
And, mostly, that’s what she did for me. Physically, she was more protective than I was able to be. And I did have a confidence that, as long as she was there, nothing would be done to me that would absolutely kill me. But mostly, she loved me.
It’s amazing what that does, when we can just love—when we can be there, and we can be calm and tender and caring, and we can hold someone’s hand through all the pain and all the fear and while they may be facing it alone, they are not quite alone.
I did that.
It made some difference.