I don’t know why it hit me today, but it did.
This is my Plan B, but it is Natalya’s Plan A. My Plan A was a really nice bonus in her mind. It was a wonderful idea, but more than could probably be realistically expected. This might be true because she was older and wiser than me, and she understood her world much better than I did.
My Plan A was that we got out together.
Her Plan A was that I got out.
Every day I am alive and safe and unharmed by anyone physically or emotionally is another successful day for her. It is excruciating for me, but she is as happy as a cat with fish bits still stuck in her whiskers.