Latest Entries


I seem to have noticed it’s October. I think I might have noticed before, but I was trying to proceed with the next step of my life. October is hard. It is the hardest month of all. And mostly I want to kill myself. The last two nights, our school held a culture show. It … Continue reading



I am having a problem with derealization. It is not a worse problem than usual. I would just like it to go away. I understand now that things start to feel unreal when something hurts too much. These two factors are directly related. Whenever it hurts, something else feels unreal. Today, it feels unreal that … Continue reading


Giving a shit

I wish I could work something out. It’s all sort of floating around in my head, without shape or form, but in these really significant pieces. It’s like I’m almost there, and can’t arrive. I think Annousheh’s mother cleaned. I think she wasn’t a sex worker, and she was 25 or 30. She lived at … Continue reading