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Vector

I can’t really get through a thought. Intellectually, of course, I can. It’s simple. Emotionally, it’s not so simple. And I have come to understand that they go together. You don’t know something, not really, until you have experienced the emotions of it. If you can’t do that, you keep reworking the same thought, calling … Continue reading

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Total failure

In the morning, I didn’t see C. I might have if I had searched harder. I suppose she came a little before me, and she thought I hadn’t come. Anyway, she didn’t want to study that morning. She had a toothache. But I found her only after 15 minutes of sitting in the staffroom trying … Continue reading

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Touch

So today I woke up at three. Mornings are really hard right now. I hadn’t mentioned that earlier. They are confusing. In the mornings, I am still processing what happened the previous day and I am also processing grief. I know mornings trigger the memories of leaving everyone at Yuri’s place behind for the last … Continue reading

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Wrong

Yesterday was really hectic. I’m meeting C at 7:30 in the morning to help her with her math. She was late yesterday—she had a project to finish—and I thought she wouldn’t come at all. But she did. In the evening, there is another boy from Class 6—not my student, but I know him—who asked for … Continue reading

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Shiny paper

We have a holiday today. For me, that means extra processing time. So that’s good. Last week was really hard. The marking was more triggering than I thought it would be, then it took longer, then I hardly got any sleep. I came back to the first day of school on maybe four hours of … Continue reading